‘Call Me BY Your Name’ — Romance done right.
Upon deciding to re-watch and write an essay about Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Name, I found myself stuck on exactly how to describe the narrative’s structure or even the events that occur without understating the excellence that is the script, acting, filming and every other aspect of this so beautifully crafted world.
Eventually, it occurred to me that the title is the best way to describe the narrative. The phrase Call Me By Your Name has imagery of being at one with each other and embodies sensuality, vulnerability and naivety all at once, this is in few words what a young and reckless romance feels like. Overwhelming feelings compiled into various rituals such as calling each other by the other’s name. This film follows two young people who embark on this dopamine high of an undisturbed utopia.
The setting is an idyllic village that is only referred to as “somewhere north of Italy” in the height of summer. The natural world’s prominent presence in some ways feels like the lakes and fields and mountains are characters of their own. Guadagnino films using a lens that imitates the human eye and this increases the aesthetical pleasure of the setting. Audiences can almost smell the fresh air when the camera focuses on the vast green fields or the sweet insatiable scent of fresh peaches in the close ups of the fruit trees. The clearness of the water paired with the cloudless skies is blissful and lacking the world’s judgement or cynicism. From the setting alone we are lured into a nostalgic and romantic state of mind which is almost childlike; this is all before we even fall in love with the characters.
Unlike the plethora of clichés, Elio and Oliver do not have a cheesy or overly dramatized romance. Oliver has a professional relationship with Elio’s father, and this naturally creates conflict however the writers do not extensively focus on this which would have been conventional of the romantic genre. Instead of needing to tell us the characters’ feelings about this the cinematography and actor’s performances show us. The characters’ body language is hesitant and awkward (as it should be). The most used piece of advice for authors and scriptwriters is “show don’t tell” and this is capitalised in the film, feelings are very rarely verbalised. For example Elio’s love for reading is established in a number of scenes yet when he reads near Oliver he can hardly keep his eyes on the book; this displays the intensity of the attraction and how new it is to him. Another example is from my favourite scene in which Elio reveals to Oliver how he feels as they walk around a monument in their town. In this scene both characters use vague and inconspicuous dialogue and without actually saying what they mean but they both know and more importantly, we know.
A prominent theme of the film is the lack of judgement and cynicism in the diegesis. The film is set in the 1980s meaning the prejudice towards homosexuality was overt and the characters appear aware of this, and yet in this microcosm there is no external turmoil. Sexuality is accepted as fluid within this film, both Elio and Oliver have girlfriends at some point in the film and it is not foreground or even acknowledged whether they are bisexual or homosexual or even if this is just a phase. This further embodies this microcosm in which love, and desire are the centre, all else is just white noise.The relationships Oliver and Elio have with their girlfriends is however far less passion-driven, these relationships could also be perceived as a way for Elio and Oliver to shield themselves from their attraction.
The parents’ presence is one of the most beautiful portrayals of the importance of familial love in the coming of age of any teenager, in this case Elio especially as he becomes comfortable in his sexuality. After Oliver’s departure, Elio’s father talks to him about his relationship with Oliver. He states:
“In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough, “But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!”
Seldom do we ever see a father console his son in this way in films, especially narratives about a gay character. In fact the father is often the one displaying distaste for the son’s sexuality, this increases the importance of this monologue.
The words of this monologue feels to me like the message of the film. I personally do not relate to Elio or Oliver in any way, I am a 19-year-old black woman who has never set foot in Italy and yet as I watched this story unfold, I felt every emotion just the same. The reason for this is because this love story has happened or will happen to us all, maybe not in Italy or in the summer or even in a romantic context but the feeling of a deep connection that feels like infinity coming to a painful end is relatable to just about everyone. The desire to cut away and shed out pain exists in all of us and Elio’s father is somewhat speaking directly to us, telling us to cherish whatever love this film reminds you of, be it a friendship or romance, we are lucky to ever experience such emotion. This film ends with Elio crying in front of the fireplace which is a symbol of comfort during cold months.The camera does not cut away and we are forced to feel every emotion of this journey in its entirety because heartbreak is only a reminder of a magical experience. I think it’s safe to say I adore this film and more importantly Timothée Chalamet.
In the words of Sufjan Stevens — Blessed be the mystery of love.
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